Beat Sheets, Pot Holes & Puppies

I’m still working away on the revisions for Fractured Sight, my YA novel. Using Blake Snyder’s Beat Sheet has proven to be a huge help in keeping my page count down, my pacing in forward motion with all its required highs and lows, my character arcs on track, and my plot holes plugged. It’s hard work trying to figure out where to put scenes for maximum benefit and sadly, saying good-bye to scenes that just don’t work to the benefit of the story, but I think in the end I will have a better book because of it.

So I continue to slog away and wrangle my story into submission. I had a great breakthrough on the plot this morning as well as the best way to work the whole structure so that it will feed into a series rather than a stand alone book.

Meanwhile, back in Every Day Land, my car is making a strange sound – somewhere between a clunking and a rattle. We’re pretty sure it’s the brakes, but I think the sound is coming from my back driver’s side and my significant other (hereto for referred to as the SO) is convinced it is from the driver’s side front end. I’ve decided to leave it up to the professionals, although explaining the sound to them over the phone made me feel like a bit of an idiot. I’m sure my podmates thought I had lost my mind. However I think my warranty on the brakes runs out next month, so regardless of how foolish I appear, I figured I better get that sucker in before the cash came out of my pocket.

And speaking of cash out of my pocket, mid-month is fast approaching which means the puppy comes home soon! We had a last minute change after visiting the breeder. We had originally picked out a female so pale she was almost white, but when we went to see the puppies first hand we fell in love with a big bundle of boy who melted in your arms when you picked him up.

It’s hard to believe I’m going to have a puppy again. I have some anxiety that I’ve forgotten everything Cooper taught me. It’s been 15 years since I’ve raised a puppy and I really had no clue what I was doing then. Granted I learned as I went, and Coop was a great teacher, but I still have a bit of a fear that I’ll screw it all up and make a mess of things. Which is foolish. All my dogs have been well trained and well behaved. I need to stop worrying.

And I can't remember if I mentioned in my last post but I became an aunt again for the 6th time. My newest nephew, Gabriel Xavier, was born December 17th but had to stay in the NICU for a little bit. My sister surprised everyone when he was released on Christmas Day and she showed up to Christmas dinner with three kids instead of two. Below is a pix of me and the other two, Maggie (wearing my hat) and Malcolm in front of tree, George. Yes... my sister names her Christmas Tree every year.

Mine, Mine, Mine

This little girl is mine. I went to the breeders to visit her for the first time today and don't ask me how I got away without tossing her in my satchel and making a run for the car.



Ain't she cute? She was the calmest one of the bunch and had such a sweet disposition.



When I picked her up, she just melted like butter in my arms, closed her eyes and started falling asleep. Usually when people do that to me I get annoyed, but this time I found it rather adorable.

This may end up being the longest two weeks of my life. Good thing the BF is taking me away this weekend!

A Crisis of Some Kind

Ennui (en-nui): A feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom. Synonyms: listlessness, tedium, lassitude, languor.

I can’t seem to shake it so I figured I might as well blog about it. Maybe it’s the times we are currently living in. The sad state of the economy seems to have most people walking on egg shells or feeling like a dark cloud is looming over their head, a perpetual Schleprock state of existence. Yet, no matter how much I try and outrun the cloud I can’t seem to lose it.

In the past five months I’ve watched the majority of our executive management at work leave, including my own boss and another close friend. Then another friend was let go a month after that. I’ve stopped counting how many people we’ve lost to lay-offs or those who jumped ship before the lay-offs occurred. I refer to my area of the office now as The Dead Zone with the sudden quiet of empty offices and missing podmates. We used to call our pod of four, The Fun Zone. It’s not so much fun any more.

Added to all of this was the stress created by months of waiting to find out if you were on the list of those getting axed, or if you were safe. It was like a bad version of Survivor where you didn’t know if you were going to be voted off the island or not. Then when you discovered your name did not have a pink slip attached to it there was the inevitable dichotomy of feeling relieved and guilty, because it meant someone else took the fall, likely someone you would have preferred to keep around. All of this was topped off with the news wage freezes were in effect for the year, putting the kibosh on the slim hope that maybe all your hard work from the previous year might result in at least a minimal increase to help offset the 6% cost of living increase. But no.

Worst of all is that somehow this has begun to bleed into my writing. Not so much my output, or what lands on the page, but the optimism I feel about my work eventually hitting the store shelves. With rejection after rejection coming in from agent queries, it is beginning to feel as if my feet are stuck firmly in the sludge with no hope of escape. I find myself more days then not staring into the future and no longer seeing or feeling a light at the end of the tunnel.

Normally, I’m a glass half-full kind of girl. I’m pretty good at keeping my spirits up and just ploughing through tough times. I rarely let anything stand in my way and if it does I find a way around it, through it, over or under it. I'm Solutions Girl. It's like a super power without a cape to go with it. But lately I find I'm running out of ideas where the writing is concerned and the bleakness that thought creates only seems to compound the original ennui.

My hope is that it’s just a temporary glitch. I’ll get back to my old rarin’ to go self in no time. Maybe the onset of Spring will improve my state of mind. In the interim, I will just hang in and chant under my breath, ‘this too shall pass…this too shall pass…’ And hopefully I will be right. I have to be. The alternative is far too unpretty otherwise.

But it hasn't all been bad news. I am going for a little puppy visitation this Friday. I found out I am getting a girl, though the right name still escapes me. I'll be sure and take plenty of pixs while I'm down there and post a few next week. In the meanwhile, here is one from the litter:

Meanwhile back in Crazy Town

This week has been another roller coaster. We did more lay-offs at work. Thankfully I managed to come through unscathed, but a few friends were not so lucky. It’s an odd situation. On the one hand you are breathing a huge sigh of relief you still have a job in this economic climate. On the other hand, you’re feeling bad about your friends who lost their jobs. And then you feel guilty for feeling relieved because they don’t have that option. I’ll be glad when this economic cycle starts swinging back up the other way. I know it will, but right now there are days when things can look pretty bleak.

On the plus side, at least it has hammered home the need to leave below my means. Luckily the BF is adamant about doing this which should keep me on the straight and narrow. Not that I spend money left, right and centre, but sometimes I can get that ‘need it now’ rush where you try to rationalize why you simply MUST HAVE SOMETHING. When in fact, you really don’t need it. Or at least you don’t need it right this minute and perhaps you can save up until you can afford to pay cash instead of whipping out the ole credit card.

So once the lay offs were done we were hit with another snow storm. Oh joy. I went into the gym on my lunch hour and it was barely snowing. I came out 40 minutes later and there was at least 2 inches of snow on the ground. I went up to the office and told my boss I was leaving now, but my usual 10 minute ride home took nearly an hour and at one point another idiot nearly side-swiped me when he lost control of his car. I managed to avoid him thankfully.

Then today I find out I have to pick up a job from one of the people laid off. Now, when I started this job I flat out said – I am not doing phones, no way, no how. They said fine, wasn’t an issue, no problem. But with the lay-offs our receptionist’s usual lunch time replacement is gone. So my boss asked me to do him a favour and pick up one lunch hour a week. I was not happy. It felt like a demotion, which is maybe being a bit dramatic about it, but that’s how I felt. I started my career on the phones and suddenly 22 years later here I am back on them? What the hell??

Sigh…but my boss and I have a really good relationship and he hated asking me but what can you do. So we worked out a deal that made us both happy and I picked Monday lunch to get it done and out of the way for the week, and then promised not to answer the phone with ‘Good afternoon, what the @#$% do you want now.’

Writing-wise it was a good week. My goal was to edit / rewrite 6 pages a day, five days a week. Monday and Tuesday I managed 6 pages, but I missed Wednesday because I forgot to reset my alarm and slept in. Then Thursday I squeaked out 7 pages. Then today I went on a tear and blew threw 15 pages to end the week with 34 pages – 4 pages over my goal. Whew.

Work-outs are also going great. I’ve done two days of cardio and weights, one yoga class, 35 minutes of cardio yesterday, followed by about 40 minutes of shovelling. Today I survived my first Spin class in several weeks and then tomorrow its Boot Camp day. I am fitting into my new jeans too and already I’m a bit concerned about the waist. They fit fine on the legs, but the waist is a bit too big (my usual dilemma…argh). I’ve belted it up for now and we’ll see how that goes. I hate the feeling of the waist being bunched up though so I might need to look at tailoring.

Puppy news – STILL trying to decide on a name, but I was talking to the breeder and I can go pay the puppies a visit next weekend at which time I should know which one is mine. And I get to bring it home for good on March 21st.

And there you have it, the weekly recap.

How to Improve a Bad Day

Sleepy is not a good way to start what is bound to be an insanely busy week. Waking at 3:15 am and not being able to get back to sleep, is not a good way to end the night. But, fitting into a pair of pants you haven’t been able to wear since last year improves the day and stumbling into work and finding new puppy pictures waiting for you -- well, that somehow makes all the bad stuff go away.

What Doesn’t Kill Me…

Week 1 of Booty Camp is underway. We had our fitness assessment on Saturday, and while I was pleased to see my weight was 2 lbs below what I had expected, I was not so thrilled to see my body fat percentage was 29.9%. Apparently it should be around 25%. The circumference of my hips also did not please me. Looks like I’ve got some work to do.

What kind of work you might ask? Well, the kind that involves two trips to the gym a day in order to fit it all in. You see, apparently what doesn’t kill me, will make me stronger. At least that is the mantra I am sure I’ll be muttering by the end of the week. Although, truth be told, I am quite excited to see where I will be by the end of this 12 week process. I plan on working hard to meet my goals, which include dropping 12 pounds to reach my goal weight, and 5 percentage points to get down to a healthy body fat. As for the hips…well I will be shaking my money maker until I knock a good 5 inches off those.

The workout component of the bootcamp includes 6 workouts per week. I knew they meant business when I saw that. I’ve already been going 5 times a week, so adding another day isn’t too bad. It’s just the intensity that’s about to get seriously amped up. Here’s what the week looks like for me:

Sunday: Resting (or make up day if I miss one of the other workouts)
Mon / Wed / Fri : 40 mins of steady state cardio (20 on elliptical stair / 20 on treadmill) and lower body strength training and core training
Tues/ Thurs / Sat: Yoga and 40 mins of interval cardio (treadmill climbing hills) and upper body strength training

Then of course, also on Saturday is our Bootcamp Team meeting / workout. But because it takes over an hour to get all the workouts done, I’m splitting it into half at lunch and half after work.

On top of that, we have the nutrition side of things which allows me daily: 6 serving of grains; 7 servings of fruits and veggies; 2-3 servings of protein; 2-3 servings of dairy; 3 servings of fat; and 8 glasses of water. Naturally all the food is of the whole wheat, low fat, etc variety.

And they gave us this lovely log book that we have to write everything down in. The logic being if we have to write it down, we’ll be more conscious of what we’re doing. Which seems to be the case. Because I didn’t want to write down that I ate a big piece of cake at my niece’s birthday party, so I only ate a very small piece.

Here are some new puppy pictures to end things off. They are 15 days old in these pictures.

A Quick Round Up

First up, as you can see, I have a new puppy picture. This one was taken when the pups were 11 days old (Wednesday). Their eyes are thisclose to being open. I purchased a second hand dog crate in excellent condition and some supplies (a few toys, brush, leash & collar), checked into obedience school and called my vet to give her a heads up.

Next up – revisions on Salvation Falls are humming along. Nothing too traumatic to report on that account. It seems to be flowing quite well. I’m beginning to think hashing out a first draft in 30 days might just be the way to go with me. So far both times I’ve done it, the story has held together remarkably well. Of course, I’m not quite halfway through yet so maybe I’ll be singing a different tune in the second half.

The Workout Bootcamp started last week with the free intro class. I could barely walk for two days afterwards. My podmate and I who are both going were groaning in pain every time we had to get up and walk to the printer. It wasn’t pretty. But the bootcamp starts in earnest tomorrow with a physical assessment and workout. I got the book that goes with it where it tells you what we need to do for nutrition and workouts (6 days a week) and then we will do the fitness assessment at the end of the 12 weeks to see how far we’ve come. I’m looking forward to it. Structure works very well for me (typical Capricorn…) so this is the best way for me to whip my butt into shape.

What else...oh, I finished reading The Winter Sea by Susanna Kearsley and I highly recommend it. It was, as all her books are, an awesome read.

And that is about all that’s going on for this week.

I’m Off to Boot Camp

Hi-ho, Hi-ho, it’s off to boot camp I go.

Work-out boot camp that is. I don’t think they’d want me in the military. I’d be just as likely to shoot someone who gave an idiotic order than the guy on the other team. But I digress.

As I was saying, work-out boot camp. It is based on the 12 week body changing program. Basically how they are doing it is setting up two teams. My team meets every Saturday morning, and the other team meets Thursday evenings. They work you out, teach you proper nutrition, etc. We compete against the other team for pounds lost. And anyone that knows me knows, I do love me a good competition.

Which hopefully will mean that I will buckle down with the healthy eating and get back into the habit of making better choices (you know, like carrots instead of carrot cake, that kind of thing). They give us this log book where we have to log everything we eat. Somehow the idea of having to write down the amount of crap I can consume is making me much less inclined to eat the stuff.

The free intro class is this Saturday and the 12 week run starts after that. My goal is to drop a pound a week minimum. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

Meanwhile, my revisions to Salvation Falls are going pretty good. I planned on getting 30 pages revised this week and ended up with 70 pages. The first few chapters were in pretty good shape. It’ll slow down a bit soon where I have more major changes and some rewrites needed, but its nice to get a bit ahead of the game first.

And, I’m hoping to have updated puppy pictures next week so stay tuned…
Which reminds me, we’re trying to develop a short list of names, so if anyone has a good idea for a golden retriever name, throw it at me.

They're Here! They're Here!!

The puppies arrived on January 24th... now the waiting begins....

The Time Has Come…

It appears I will be getting a golden retriever puppy from the breeder I want. The litter is due on January 29th and as some people dropped off the waiting list I got bumped up from the reserve list. The new litter, provided they arrive on time, will be ready to go to their new homes by about first of April.

As excited as I am about finally getting a new puppy, I have to admit there is that gut clenching nervousness I had forgotten about at the thought of taking on a new bundle of fur and realizing you are responsible for this living, breathing thing for the course of its natural life. Its health and well-being now rests in my hands. Ack…

I know once the pup arrives the nervousness will subside and I’ll fall back into the grove of dog ownership and re-juggle my schedule to fit in the walks and the feedings and the training, but until then, every now and then I feel the anxiety of what I’m doing. I’ve never been one of these people that rushes into buying a puppy because their so damn cute you just have to have one. Maybe its because I firmly believe the reason puppies are so damn cute is because it’s often the only thing that saves them during that crazy stage when they are learning it isn’t okay to eat your furniture or gnaw on the baseboard or run through the backyard with your skivvies trailing from their teeth.

What puppydom is really is a lot of work. A lot. There’s the regular exercise the dog requires, the housebreaking, the training so you have a well behaved dog, the incorporating it into your life as a member of the family and not sloughing off your responsibility just because you’d like the day off. It will be making sure there are dog-sitters if you want to go away, and vet visits and pooper scooping (ah yes…pooper scooping…the glamorous side of dog ownership).

Most of all it will mean a curtailing of the freedom you have when you don’t own a pup that is sitting at home waiting for you to return. I can’t run out after work and go somewhere. I will need to get home pronto because there is a dog waiting there that needs to be let out, fed and walked. The lunch time gym workouts will have to stop at least for the first 6 months since I’ll have to zip home and lunch and let the poor guy out for a pee break and midday feeding. Which means figuring out just when the gym will be fit in…later in the evening? Weekends? A walk in the morning before I leave for work is also a necessity, how will I fit that in with my morning writing schedule? Get up at 5:30 am?? Oiy…

Sigh…this would be so much easier if I only worked part-time…

But despite all of the nervousness and changes that taking on a new pup hold, there is a much bigger part of me that can’t wait to once again have a pooch meandering around the house. Despite the curtailed freedom, I never regretted a day of it when I had Cooper, and I know once I get into the groove again I won’t regret it this time. The pay offs are so much more than the time you hand over to them.

Now, if I could only come up with a name for the pooch...

My Christmas Wish

I came thisclose to saying yes to getting a golden retriever puppy in mid January. You see, the breeder of my dreams has a new litter, and while this litter is all reserved, I called to get myself added to the reserve list for the next litter in 2009. But by some fluke it turned out there was one female left because a potential family had a change of heart. I spoke with the breeder, she asked me questions, etc and in the end said if I wanted it, the pup could be mine.

Did I want it?

That’s like asking me if I’m partial to filling my lungs with air.

But the timing was all wrong. It meant getting the puppy in mid January, well before the BF and I were under the same roof. And, for anyone who has ever entered the crazy days of puppydom, you know once that little critter lands on your doorstep you are a bit housebound while they become acclimated and housetrained and a million other things. Which meant the BF and I would see each other only on the occasion when he ventured over to my abode, as his apartment does not allow dogs.

I hemmed and hawed. I wanted the puppy sooooo bad. The BF said if I wanted it we would make it work. But the facts were what they were. And there was also the financial consideration. Pure breeds do not come cheap, and even though the BF said he would get the puppy for me as a gift, there was still the additional cost of food, shots, puppy classes and spaying to consider within the next few months. Costs I hadn’t budgeted for and wasn’t sure I could manage while still paying all the living expenses myself.

So I did what any Capricorn would do in this situation. I made a list. Pros and cons. The Con list was all the practical reasons listed above. The Pro list read something like this: puppy puppy puppy puppy puuuuuuuppppppyyyyyy!!!

And not just any puppy. But THE puppy from THE breeder that I really, really, really wanted.

I mulled. I considered. I rationalized to the best of my ability. But in the end it came down to the same thing – I couldn’t give the puppy what it needed right now. Four months from now – no problem. But not right now.

Sigh…I hate when logic rears its ugly head.

So sadly I called the breeder and gave them my decision and asked to be put on the reserve list for the next litter. Which it turns out is due January 29th as they did two breedings with two of their females. On the downside, the litter is already reserved by others. So basically I’m number 8, putting me on the reserve reserve list. My only hope is that three other families change their mind and I can slip into the #5 position.

And that’s my Christmas wish.