So I’ve been nursing this powerful crush for a little while, say, oh I don’t know, since about August or so. I could pinpoint the exact day, probably narrow it down to the hour in which it hit me, but I’d hate to look quite that obsessive so I’ll refrain. Oddly enough, just before this illustrious event occurred, I had been bemoaning the fact that it had been a very long time since I’d experienced that feeling and that I really missed it. But now that it’s plopped itself down on the doorstep of my mind, kicked down said door, marched in and made itself at home…well it’s kinda taken over. I hadn’t actually been expecting that.
But now he’s on my mind constantly. He won’t leave. And worst of all, I hardly ever get to see him, so he’s actually managing to do this from afar, which is a bit disconcerting. And yet quite enjoyable at the same time. And yet disconcerting. Did I mention disconcerting? I mean, I’ve had crushes before but this one just feels different but I can’t quite pinpoint why. It’s almost like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I’m not sure if the shoe is going to be some sexy little number that I’ll want to try on, or a big ole honking clodhopper that Stacey & Clinton would disown me for wearing.
Maybe it’s the wait that’s disconcerting, the wondering if it will always just be a crush, or if maybe there’s a possibility of more. Or maybe it’s the possibility of more that freaks me out.
You know, my health plan covers psychiatric counseling. Perhaps I should look into this…