Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Give Me Freedom

We have had a beautiful stretch of weather. And when I say stretch, I mean 4 days in a row, which in Nova Scotia is akin to a miracle since the weather has a way of changing every five minutes. The problem with this is that you can sense Spring in the air.

That's right, I said problem.

You see, as soon as the weather improves, I get antsy. Big time antsy. As in I want to quit my day job, jump in my car and just drive and drive and drive until I’m so far away I don’t know where I am anymore. Granted with my sense of direction that would take me all of five minutes to achieve but you know what I mean. I want my freedom. I crave it. And it is a daily chore to not say ‘to hell with everything’ and chase after it like my very life depended on it.

That’s not to say I’d chuck everything. I’d keep my house and the hot guy living in it. The dog would stay. Maybe what I really crave is the freedom from responsibility. I know I’m a Capricorn and responsibility is deeply encoded into our astrological DNA, but I must have a recessive gene in there somewhere. The psychic I go to every year told me I have a progressed Sagittarius in my chart which makes me a bit of a gypsy. Maybe that’s what causes this need to throw caution to the wind and hit the open road.

Whatever it is, once the weather even hints at getting warmer, or someone mouths the words 'my crocuses have started to bloom' I have to start reminding myself that I have a mortgage to pay and debt to get rid of and a car payment due and until I can make a living from writing I have to keep slogging away at the salt mines.

But I’m not happy about. Not happy at all.

I think if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't have tied myself down so much. I would have left my ability to get up and go where and when I please more open.

Sigh...hindsight...it's a hell of a thing.

6 comments:

Bonnie Ferguson said...

Sigh...hindsight...it's a hell of a thing.

Ain't that the truth. :)

Janet said...

I hear ya, Kelly - take it from this gypsy, there's nothing in the world like the freedom to go. Of course, we've bought a house now, so my options for picking up and heading out have diminished (but it's never stopped us before :)

The best thing on beautiful sunny days - speaking as from my 'itchy feet syndrome' is to get in the car and do a mini-road trip. Could be just down the road to a new beach, but just that little bit of freedom helps the restlessness.

I used to advise my nephew when he was in his teens to never buy more than would fit in the back of a pickup - he now has a house, wife, two dogs, two beautiful little girls, and tons of stuff. He tells me he should have listened better!

Cat Schield said...

LOL! That how I felt for the last two weeks. Our temps are milder now, but we've been overcast and rainy for days. Not much desire to run away when it's so gloomy.

I am itchy for a road trip. I'm going to take my daughter to Utah next summer. Not this year because she's completely booked up with activities already. I need to block out her time a year in advance.

Good luck with your Spring Fever.

Michelle Helliwell said...

Oh Kelly - you are singing my song. I don't need an open road - I actually am a homebody (who loves roadtrips) but if I could just stay there and do what I want--read, garden, write of course--that would be my ideal of heaven.

I always get restless this time of year - and always save some vacation for this time of year. I think I almost need it more now than in the summer.

Great post - I think you've said what alot of us are feeling!

Anne MacFarlane said...

I'm with you, Kelly. A couple of times in my life, before kids and house, I just chucked it all and moved. Wonderful freedom. I miss it.

A few years ago I considered moving to another province but the vocal objections from kids and their father put that idea to rest pretty quickly.

Pamela Callow said...

Ooh... I hear you. I'd love to go on a retreat. For say, six months!