We have had a beautiful stretch of weather. And when I say stretch, I mean 4 days in a row, which in Nova Scotia is akin to a miracle since the weather has a way of changing every five minutes. The problem with this is that you can sense Spring in the air.
That's right, I said problem.
You see, as soon as the weather improves, I get antsy. Big time antsy. As in I want to quit my day job, jump in my car and just drive and drive and drive until I’m so far away I don’t know where I am anymore. Granted with my sense of direction that would take me all of five minutes to achieve but you know what I mean. I want my freedom. I crave it. And it is a daily chore to not say ‘to hell with everything’ and chase after it like my very life depended on it.
That’s not to say I’d chuck everything. I’d keep my house and the hot guy living in it. The dog would stay. Maybe what I really crave is the freedom from responsibility. I know I’m a Capricorn and responsibility is deeply encoded into our astrological DNA, but I must have a recessive gene in there somewhere. The psychic I go to every year told me I have a progressed Sagittarius in my chart which makes me a bit of a gypsy. Maybe that’s what causes this need to throw caution to the wind and hit the open road.
Whatever it is, once the weather even hints at getting warmer, or someone mouths the words 'my crocuses have started to bloom' I have to start reminding myself that I have a mortgage to pay and debt to get rid of and a car payment due and until I can make a living from writing I have to keep slogging away at the salt mines.
But I’m not happy about. Not happy at all.
I think if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't have tied myself down so much. I would have left my ability to get up and go where and when I please more open.
Sigh...hindsight...it's a hell of a thing.