Monday, March 27, 2006

Thanks For Playing, We Have Some Lovely Parting Gifts

So needless to say, anyone who has checked the Golden Heart list to see who made the finals has realized I was not on the long historical list. Anywhere. No matter how many times I stared at it certain I was seeing it wrong. Perhaps it was simply a dyslexic moment and I rearranged the letters of my name to look like someone else's. But no, sadly, such was not the case. I did not make the cut.

Que sera. I wallowed in the indignity of it all for about twenty minutes and then was overtaken by a strange fit of the giggles brought on by separate conversations with my sister and Maxx. Perhaps it was the sudden release of the tension built up waiting to see the outcome, I have no idea, but lordy I couldn't stop. I thought they were going to kick me out of my pod.

Once again, rejection did not have the impact I thought it would. I was disappointed that my manuscript didn't final, but it wasn't devastating. I still believe the manuscript is good, I still believe in the story, the characters and that one day it will be published. Maybe if I wasn't as sure about my own writing as I am, it would have hurt more, but if anything, not making the finals only spurred me to prove I can. It reminded me of when I was a kid and someone told me I couldn't do something. My first reaction was always 'oh yeah, well watch this.'

It was the same reaction I had on Friday when my name wasn't listed among the finalists. So keep your lovely parting gifts. I'm not going anywhere.

7 comments:

Tess said...

Couldn't believe our names weren't there! But like you, I found the disappointment nowhere near as overwhelming as I expected. *shrug* It was way worse two years ago.

The really annoying thing was our lawyer's office calling at 10:31 Friday morning - for about 5 seconds I thought I really was a finalist. Then I looked at the Call Display. Oh well. As you said - Que Sera :-)

Peggy said...

Well, you're in good company. A lot of us brilliant writers didn't make it. Including Margaret Moore (for Rita not GH) who I think is absolutely brilliant. I guess we all can't win, which begs to question why bother entering. It's not really a mark of how good a writer we are. It's whether the five or so judges selected to read your entry, enjoyed your particular voice/time period/genre. Not very good odds.

julia said...

The very best part of entering is now being the proud owner of a manuscript that is a lean, mean fightin' machine.

Melissa Marsh said...

YEAH! I like your attitude, Kelly! YOU GO, GIRL!!!

Cathryn Fox said...

Kelly, I too believe that manuscript will get published. I hate contests, they're just too subjective.

Michelle said...

Kelly--I know what you mean. I kept thinking--but, but--why? Then I reminded myself that it only takes one yahoo giving you a low score to ruin it all. :o Oh well. We'll sell our books and it won't matter.

Nikki said...

I was surprised there weren't more RWAC people there!!! But it certainly doesn't mean your book's not good or publishable ... and I'm positive it's just matter of time for you!!!