Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Clean Freak Spaz Out

My house is a mess. Not a wholly, needs-to-be-demolished-unfit-to-live-in type of mess, but more of an I-don’t-know-why-I-can’t-just-put-something-back-where-it-belongs kind of mess. I do this all the time. Set something down and tell myself I’ll put it back where it goes in a minute. Then later. Then tomorrow. Then on the weekend. Then I watch as each of these timeframes slips away and things pile higher and higher until I start to hyperventilate and my inner clean freak threatens to spaz out and throw itself prostrate at my feet until I do something about the mess.

I’m almost at the inner spaz out stage now. It isn’t that I don’t want to clean the house, it’s just that the time simply gets away from me, and there is always something else I’d rather be doing because clean freak I may be, but domesticated diva I am not. I could do the dishes, or I could read a book. I could vacuum, or I could zip out to Chapters. I could scrub the toilets, or I could go shopping. There’s always something more fun to do, somewhere else my time is needed that is far more intriguing than breaking out the Comet and Fantastik and going to town. Something that ranks higher than restocking the wood pile, pooper scooping the back yard, dusting the furniture, cooking dinner.

I keep telling myself after each thorough cleaning that I’m going to get a better handle on this. That this time, now that it’s clean, I’m going to keep it that way. And each time I mean it. Then the next thing I know, I turn around and the piles are back, the dishes are stacked in the sink, the counter has a colony of crumbs littering its top, the floor is covered with dog hair, and I think--didn’t I just clean this? Where did the time go?

Sigh…I so need a maid. I need someone else who will cater to my clean freak tendencies so I don’t have to feel like such a failure every time I fall short at it once again despite all my best intentions. I don’t want to have to keep bolting past my living room so I won’t see the pile of writing paper and research books that have taken over the coffee table. Or incline my head a certain way so I can ignore the mail and magazines now decorating the kitchen table I never eat at because there's never any room on it.

I know people that have a cleaning lady who comes in once a week and I swear once I have the cash to spare, I will be getting me one of those.

9 comments:

Tess said...

I feel your pain. When I'm by myself, I'm the same way. You shoulda seen my apartment the summer before Sean and I were married. I was living alone, working on my MA thesis and planning the wedding. Can tell ya, cleaning fell way down the priority scale. Poor Sean would arrive and help me clean - and he still married me! Guess domestic diva wasn't high on his marriage list - at least I can cook *g*.

Peggy said...

I'm getting me one of those too!! Or throw out the other bodies living in my house. Either way will keep my home cleaner. Because, really, none of it is MY mess! ;-P

Kelly said...

All of it's my mess. I keep trying to figure out how one person can make so much mess. I must sleepwalk thru the night...

kacey said...

I want a cook, maid and some one who grocery shops. Then I could come home from work to a nice dinner, a clean house, and I could just write...
kacey--off living in her fantasy world *g

julia said...

I still haven't unpacked boxes from last August, so...

Melissa Marsh said...

I do the exact same thing. I always tell myself that I'll keep it clean because it looks so darn nice. But a week goes by and it's back to where it was. I blame the kids. ;-)

Nikki said...

See, I have the opposite problem - I'm pretty good at cleaning -- I have a regular routine and pretty much stick to it. My house isn't sparkling -- but beds are made, furniture's polished and it looks pretty good.

Writing, however, I never make enough time for. And yet, you do!!!! I think we need to trade off on the things we do routinely! I'll come clean your house and you do the writing for me. Deal??

Kelly said...

Deal.

Michelle said...

I really really REALLY want a maid. But that's dreaming. Right now I'm trying to train my toddlers to be my slaves and put things away. Sometimes they submit to my whims. Other times, they are the cause of the chaos. ;)