I've been going back and forth on my decision whether or not to attend the National conference in Atlanta this year. There's certainly no question that I want to attend, but unfortunately my bank account has other ideas. I could probably get there, but it would mean stealing from Peter to pay Paul, and given that I don't even know these men or have any idea what they are doing with my money, that just doesn't seem like the right thing to do. I told myself if the writing gods smiled upon me and I managed to final in the GH, then I would definitely go. But again, all the creative accounting in the world didn't change the money situation.
Then the idea of the New Jersey conference in October came up. Smaller venue, lots of agents and editors, less expensive to get there, shorter time period meant less of a hotel/food cost. Hmm...it seemed like a viable alternative if I could scrape together about $1,000 in the next 9 months.
Then I thought about what I wanted to accomplish this year. Finish Desire & Brimstone, market The Outlaw Bride, and find an agent are top three on my list. The first one is something going to a conference will not help me accomplish. The last two may be advanced if I do. Again, the idea of a conference seemed like a good idea.
But so does the idea of using the money that would be spent on a conference and putting it on my little mountain of debt and giving me some breathing room so I don't wake up at three in the morning hyperventilating wondering if I'm ever going to get ahead and be able to travel again, or do the things to my house that need done, or just be able to spend more than $50 on groceries every two weeks...
So the dilemma goes on. I've 99% ruled out Atlanta, unless I come across a nice little windfall of money in the interim that makes this doable. I'm seriously considering New Jersey as an alternative, and I'm breathing a little easier knowing I might actually get a bit of a dent put in my debt before year's end. It's like a small light at the end of the tunnel that doesn't appear to be an oncoming train.