Thursday, June 30, 2005

Mr. Cranky Ass

Okay, I get that I’m a morning person and accept the fact that I am not in the vast majority of the population with that one. I should make it clear however, I’m not one of these cheery people running amuck spewing sunshine and roses so early in the AM you want to run me over with a truck. In fact, the reason I like the wee hours of the morn’ so much is because I am one of the few people up and about. I like the quiet, the sense of solitude. Yet, in the event I come across another individual during this time, I can at least manage to pull off a level of civility that would make my mother proud. And by the time I arrive at work, coffee in hand, why I’m downright pleasant (Erin, bite your tongue).

So it really cheeses me off when a co-worker comes into the office and I toss off a ‘good morning’ and all I get in reply is a grunt. Now, this is a person that I spend a lot of time in the office with. We work on the same team, hang out and occasionally we’ll do something together outside of the office. It isn’t as if we have an antagonistic relationship that would warrant that type of a greeting in the morning, or any time for that matter. So when I say, ‘Hey, did you go see War of the Worlds last night?’ and all I get back is a grunt? Well my next response is to quell the urge to dump my steaming hot coffee over the wall of my pod and directly into your lap. And yessss…I get that you're moody, Mr. Gemini, but quite frankly I don’t care whether or not you’re a morning person or a night owl - grunting is caveman speak buddy and the least you can do is form a sound that has a few more vowels and consonants in it!

Then, as if that weren’t enough, I leave my desk to refill my coffee (because I drank it, not because I dumped it in his lap) and when I get back he’s on the phone chatting it up with someone else all Mr. Happy Guy, not a care in the world. Joking. Laughing. And I’ll bet my next paycheck that when he wants to take his usual morning coffee break, he’ll pop by my pod all smiles like his ignorant grunt of this morning never happened and…oh will you look at that, just as I’m typing this is he is calling me. Let’s answer it shall we?…OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! “Hey, are you going for coffee? Well if you are, don’t forget to let me know. Don’t go get coffee without me! What are the chances you’re going to be going in the next twenty minutes?”

Grrr…Well, Mr. Bipolar Cranky Ass, the chances are good, because I need to refill my lukewarm coffee mug with scalding hot new stuff. Unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll be all that pleased with what I have intended for it after that.

10 comments:

Chris said...

Well Kelly, at least he does come out of his Cranky Ass attitude...I hate those ones who are permanently cranky!! But on the other hand, you don't need to wonder which mood is going to surface when you say "good morning"!!! He'll probably be wondering what's up with you after you snub him!!

Michelle said...

There are some people who are just like that. Who knows what's up with them? Thanks for the laugh this morning. :)

Maxx said...

I wouldn't take it personally. He's just a cranky person in the morning by the sounds of it. I used to work with a girl who used to grunt at me in the morning. I am FAR from a morning person but I can at least mutter a Good morning when I stroll through the door in the am. So when she'd grunt at me I'd just keep saying GOOD MORNING! a little louder every time until I at least got an actually fully formed 'Good morning' back from her. Sometimes it held a little more venom than I'd like, but it's hard to stay cranky while wishing someone a Good morning.

Melissa Marsh said...

I bet there are people like that at every office - I know mine has them. I'm not a morning person, either, but I do try and say "Good morning" when I come into work. Otherwise, I'll be perceived as a grump and there are no grumps in my department!

kacey said...

I love mornings too. But I"m not a happy chirpy morning person. I like it because most of the world is still buried under their pillow.

Though I have to admit, the cranky ass may have made me force into a chirpy I'm gonna irritate you buddy mood.

Donna Grant said...

LMAO!!!

Thank you, hon. I needed a laugh today. :)

I have to say I was never a morning person, but once I had kids, well...I kinda turned into a semi-respondent person.

Erin said...

Yeah, don'tcha just hate those people that are uber cheerful in the mornings? They can drive ya crazy.

Of course, there's always the chance they're doing it to drive people like Mr. Bipolar Cranky Ass around the bend (and any other coworkers *G*).

Now, if you'll excuse me...my tongue hurts.

nin said...

nice posting...keep it up....

Piss & Moan said...

Here's an idea which may kill two birds with one stone ... since the karma gods (who are perpetually ticked since Culture Club did that song about them in the 80s - you know, Karma Chameleon :-) - and I'm laughing because its running through your head for the rest of the day now), why not vent all Wednesday's anger on Mr. Cranky Ass and relieve Thursday's stress in one fell swoop. The guy's in a pod, not an office, so it will probably be days before he's missed!

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