It never seems to fail, when something good happens, like getting an appointment with Kelly Harms at the conference, something bad has to happen to counter-balance that. Like the karma gods refuse to see me happy for any serious length of time, as if the world would come to a raging and catastrophic end should that ever happen.
Monday night I was sitting on the couch when Cooper jumped up to join me. I noticed she was licking her paw and when I took a closer look, I noticed a lump about the size of the end of my pinky finger above one of her toes. It looked almost like a huge blood blister, only a little firmer. I called the vet and took her in last night, thinking it was an infected bug bite or some such thing, an easy fix. I should have known better.
The vet doesn’t like the look of it, or where it is positioned on her foot. The verdict – most likely a tumor. I’m to watch it over the next week or two and measure it every few days. If it grows so much as a millimeter, I’m to bring her in and we’ll have it removed. Luckily it isn’t attached to anything and is free-moving, so removal shouldn’t be an arduous task and chances of getting it all are good. But it means Coop has to go under anesthetic again for the second time in 6 weeks, which given her age of ten years I’m not thrilled about. Actually I’m not thrilled about any of this. It’s just been one thing after another and the bills keep piling up from it. I’m maxed out, all my resources tapped clean. The surgery will cost another $500-$600 which means I have to dip into my RRSP money again, and then get dinged taxes on it at the end of the year.
It’s days like this I wish I weren’t single, that I could shove the whole thing off on someone else even just for a day and say, “You deal with this, I need a break.” I could just sit back and worry and someone else could handle all the details of what needed to be done, where the money was coming from, etc. My brain and my stress levels need a break and they just aren’t getting it. It’s like a constant karmic beat down and I’ve about reached my limit. I just start to feel like I’m getting my feet under me and some jokster with a sick sense of humour pulls out the rug again.
I’m not sure what I’ve done in the past year to piss off the karma gods to such an extent that I can’t seem to catch a financial or mental break, but there had better be some whopping big pay off at the end of all of this or I may well go postal.