Saturday, May 07, 2005

Order Restored

I restored order. I have cleaned some of the mess. I feel better now. Like I accomplished something. Not the love scene in the stoopid chapter that is still a mess, but there is less dog hair attached to my carpet and one toilet hath been scrubbed.

Tomorrow I am in charge of vegetables for the Mother's Day feast. I love my mother, but I hate to cook. I hate having things I 'have' to do on the only two days off I have. I'm quite certain in this case that makes me pretty small and petty considering all my mother has done for me, but there you have it. It's not that I don't want to make the food for her, just that I hate making food at all.

I spent my last $20 on food and have $2.70 left to my name until next payday, and that has already been spent on bills and debt. It's my never ending cycle of perpetual poverty, struggling to keep my head above water and suffocating when I suck it through my nose and into my lungs. I don't think I need a clean house, what I need is to be able to make ends meet come the end of the month. I need to not steal from Paul to pay Peter. And who are these men that they keep taking my money anyway? I need to sell my writing. Soon. Preferably before the undertow sucks me under and I'm lost forever.

*hangs head*
Well that order was short-lived.
I really shouldn't think so much. The voices overwhelm me.
It's early and I'm tired.
How did you spend your Saturday night?

~ KB

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