Have you ever just had one of those days where you wish you could snap your fingers and make everything different? I’m having one of those today. It started off with the realization that no matter how much creative accounting I do, how tight I stretch my budget, in order to afford the trip to Reno in July, I’m going to have to cash in some RRSP money and even then, I’m still mired so far in debt it ain’t even funny. Then I go home for lunch and find out I did manage to get an editor appointment for the conference, but it’s a group one, not individual. Then I look at the dog and realize the eye that had surgery on it has a milky white dot in the corner and I have to take her to the vet...again. For about the hundredth time in six weeks.
I got back to work after lunch and pop onto my on line critique group and realize I have a critique on the chapter I was struggling with. I've already had a few responses on this and everyone was really pleased and positive about how it turned out. And then I get this one. While she prefaces the critique by saying she thought it was great, she then goes through and asks questions and makes changes to silly things that change my voice, etc. Maybe I was just in a pissy mood, but by the third page I said screw it and logged out. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to read it without cursing.
I closed the program and sat at my computer staring at the picture on the screen, an autumn setting on a country road where the trees stretch up overhead and entwine with each other to create a covered bridge effect. I sat there, staring at the picture wishing I could crawl into and it dawned on me…if I had magical powers, that’s what I’d do. I’d crawl into that picture. I’d land on that leaf strewn road, beneath the orange and yellow oaks, and I’d just walk. And I’d keep on walking. I don’t even think I’d look back.