To Sleep, Perchance to Dream...

“When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.”~ From the movie Fight Club, based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk

 

I feel like the walking dead.

I’m in the middle of a lovely bout of insomnia that has been going on for three weeks now. I’ve hit the point where I start giggling partway through a conversation. With myself. Or I wander off in the middle of someone else’s conversation because I’ve forgotten we’re having one. While they’re still talking. This can’t end well.

I’ve tried a few different methods that usually help break the bout and get me back on track: melatonin, hot bath/shower, reading before bed, Advil PM. My insomnia just laughed at it. I swear. I heard it. Oh crap…I’m hearing things now.

I figure it’s just a matter of time before my brain shuts down completely and I wander into a wall or a tree. Maybe traffic. I probably shouldn’t be driving come to think of it, but I’m too tired to walk.

Oddly, I’ve managed to meet my weekly goal of 30 new pages written. Granted, when I edit them this weekend I may find I’ve nothing but the scribbled gibberish of a madwoman.  Seeing as I'm off to Starbucks momentarily to do my editing, I guess I'll soon find out!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

I've been a bad, bad blogger

The waste of life occasioned by trying to do too many things at once is appalling. ~ Orison Marden

But I can explain. Really. I've spent the past few months with my nose to the grindstone, grinding away at revisions on An Invitation to Scandal.  Now, it is finally done and has been sent out to the editor and agent that requested it, and I am onto something new! Woo hoo!!! I've spent so much of the past 2.5 years doing revisions on previously written material I almost forget what it's like to write a brand new book. Even the new manuscripts I've written in the past few years have been NaNoWriMo books, which meant spewing it out in 30 days or less. To actually take my time (okay, 3 months as opposed to 1) will be a nice luxury.

The book that is up next is book 2 in the Brides of Fatal Bluff series, The Widow Bride, and a follow up to The Outlaw Bride. I'm looking forward to returning to the town of Fatal Bluff and see what is going on with the other two brides who were on the same train with Kate.

To help with my plotting and note taking, I'm using Microsoft Office's OneNote. I had been hearing about it from a few different people but hadn't had time to look at it. Then at our RWA Chapter meeting yesterday, Michelle Helliwell did a presentation, part of which was extolling the virtues of OneNote. After getting started with it this morning I can officially say I love it!  All my notes in one tidy little spot. Character pixs, plots, subfolders. It's enough to make a girl lose her mind. I'm big on organization, and I really haven't been keeping up my usual standard of late, so this will help big time.

In other news, I have become totally addicted to Pinterest. I expect I'm a few short weeks away from needing a 12-step program. On the plus side, I'm finding the visuals incredibly inspiring for writing and I'm creating little collage like boards for my books that have been a lot of fun. If you haven't tried Pinterest, I highly recommend. I've found plenty of character, setting and atmosphere type pictures. I've also found hoards of different recipes and workouts and humorous sayings. I've even built my own dream closet (that periodically makes me weep because it isn't my real closet).

So now that I have lifted my head up from revisions, I'm hoping life gets a little bit back to normal. Regular postings here. The website updated with new material. Back to regular workouts at the gym and training for the 10K race in May. I may even finally get my honeymoon pictures to Prague uploaded onto Facebook one of these days...

Revisions Have Landed

I had planned to do a post today on my writing room makeover, but my re-org hit a snag yesterday when the revision letter for THE OUTLAW BRIDE arrived from my editor (Liz Bass). The makeover has been put on hold while I deal with those.

My first thought when the revisions arrived went something like - oh my God oh my God I'm going to make a complete mess of this I don't know what I'm doing oh my God oh my God. And no, there wasn't any punctuation in my head either. It was one long, rambling mental stream of stark, unadulterated fear.

Thankfully, it lasted only five minutes before my brain took over, slapped itself upside the head and told me to smarten up. And then the dog barfed, which sort of diverted my thoughts elsewhere. Poor pooch is still dealing with some intestinal issues, and while there's improvement, he's not 100% yet. We hope the new antibiotics will help get him over the hump and back to happy, healthy puppy land. Although to look at him, he seems blissfully unaware there is anything wrong.

But I digress. Today, my plan is to read through the revision notes my editor made on the manuscript and formulate my plan. Once I have a plan everything will be right with the world. I'm almost through the manuscript now and so far, so good. There isn't anything there that jumps out and screams, 'You can't do this! You're in over your head! You should have taken up basket-weaving!'

Therefore, it will be a short post today, while I tackle my revisions. I'm hoping to get as much done this week as possible since I'm on vacation. Once I head back to Pod Land my writing time drops back to my 2-hour morning stint. Plus, I loathe leaving things to the last minute. I was always the kid in school that did projects the first day they were assigned to avoid any last minute panic.

The writing room post will happen next week (promise!), with before / during / and after pictures included. But first - revisions.

Cover me...I'm going in.

Rewriting the Novel

Ah, there is nothing like the smell of wet dog permeating the writing room to get my creative juices flowing. Okay, maybe it isn't so much that it gets my creative juices flowing as it is that I want to finish this scene so I can escape the stench.

Either way, I am making steady progress on ITS and quite happy about what is landing on the page. Even more than that, I am excited about getting back to Fractured Sight when I'm finished my revisions on ITS. I've figured out part of the problem I was having with the story, and I'm anxious to dive back in and muck around to bring the rest of it to light. And I'm already playing around with ideas for the trailer. For some reason doing the trailer has really helped me solidify things about the stories that I hadn't realized initially. It seems to make the stories more concrete for me, so I will continue doing them.

But first I have to finish my revisions on ITS. On the weekend I bought, The Weekend Novelist Rewrites the Novel by Robert J. Ray. So far it is really making me think about how I structure my book and giving me a fair bit of insight into ways to make it better.

Yesterday I took off from actual writing and developed a plan for the second half of 2010. It's rather ambitious (I seem unable to come up with plans that aren't...) but if I put the nose to the grindstone I think I can pull it off. And if not, it certainly won't be for lack of trying.

Meanwhile, my stinky dog has decided to prance around the room with his toy box held tightly in the jaws of death. If you'll excuse me, I must go inform him that the actual purpose of the box is to hold the toys, not be one.

Busy Little Bee

I’ve had a very productive writing week and finally feel like I’m making some headway. Using Blake Snyder’s Beat Sheet, I worked out the scene by scene outline for my YA novel, Fractured Sight. Then I moved on and did the same with one of my historicals awaiting revision, Invitation to Scandal (which turned out to be in pretty good shape) and the second book in the Brimstone series, Saving Grace (needs work).

Next week is when the hard work starts. I have to go in and using the tools I learned from Donald Maass’s Putting Fire In Your Fiction, start my scene by scene revisions for Fractured Sight.

Thankfully, doing the Beat Sheet allowed me to see where I had some issues, make a few scene changes and additions, juggle things around and realize the ending I had should be the ending in Book 3, not Book 1. I wondered why I couldn’t figure out where things went after Book1…well, that’s why. I need to do the story in increments, saving the big finish for Book 3. Book 1 and 2 will be the lead in to getting there, the build up. Each will have a stand alone story in it that builds up to the final book.

I’m hoping I can finish the revisions in eight weeks, but it will mean a lot of head down, nose to the grindstone, hard work.

By the way, just a heads up. I’ll have two guest bloggers next week: Sarah Taney Humphreys and Lisa Campbell so stay tuned for that.

Mired in the Muck

Revisions. The scourge that they are. To be honest, I have a love / hate relationship with revisions. I love taking the lump of words and reworking them into something coherent. But by the time the second run of revisions comes around, I just want to move on and do something new. I do not want to slog through the story all over again and fix all the things I missed in the first set of revisions. I want to put the story to bed so I can start sending it out into the big, bad world and then move on.

But alas, if I were to send it out too early I would be wasting my time and the editor or agent’s. And there in lies the crux of the problem. I get frustrated with my inability to pump out a pristine manuscript with only one set of revisions. I want to tear my hair out if it requires a third. Don’t even get me started on what happens when I know I am likely looking at a fourth. Possibly fifth.

I know its all part of the process. Every writer goes through it. Guaranteed we spend far more time revising than we do writing the initial first draft. That’s where the work comes in. The first draft is like play. New people, new places, new discoveries. The revision is when you take all that play and try to form it into something workable. Something someone wants to buy.

I’m in revision hell right now. It’s only the first revision and I see at least two more in my future. Right now I’m just re-piecing the story together after the frenzied writing of NaNo. Moving things around, taking out what isn’t needed, changing characters and arcs and motivations. I always feel disconnected from the characters during the first set of revisions. I’m looking more at the technical aspects – is the plot in the right order mostly. Later, in the read through (before the…sigh…next round) I’ll hopefully reconnect. But right now they have become strangers to me.

Turning Creativity Into Cash

I’ve decided to set up a blog to help promote my Etsy shop now that I’ve decided to get things rolling again and start adding items for sale. Feel free to check it out: it’s called Duly Knitted.

First I had to determine if I had the time to do this what with the writing, the day job, the new puppy, home life. Because I am completely insane, I decided that yes, I did have the time so why not try and bring in a little extra income to fund my habit.

However, much like writing, setting up shop isn’t just about what lands on the printed page – or slips off the ends of the needles. There’s promo involved, time needed to take photos of the product to its best possible advantage (something I’m still working with but I have some ideas…), different sites to network on, etc.

But what the heck. I’d be knitting anyway, and since I can’t possibly keep all the stuff I knit (I only have so much closet space), I might as well try to sell it. Besides, like my writing, I get way more done if I have a goal, and populating my shop with quality knit goods seems as good a goal as any.

To that end, I am enrolling in a two-day knitting course at a local yarn shop, The Loop, which runs over two Sundays to better get a handle on intarsia knitting. I’m also designing some of my own patterns which isn’t quite as difficult as I thought it would be, but I reserve the right to change my mind on that when I start getting into more intricate patterns.

Meanwhile, back in Revision Land, I am not sure whether or not the first third of my YA is working. I have a fair bit happening, but a lot of it is set up. Which is required but I’m concerned I might be dragging it out for too long. I’ve decided to keep going, tighten up where I can, and then go back and figure out if the pacing works when I do the read through. Hopefully I’m not as far off the mark as I feel right now.

The pup starts obedience training next Tuesday. I’m looking forward to that. He’s a pretty smart dog. So far he’ll sit and stay and come. But the mouthing of limbs needs to get under control and walking him where he isn’t rushing ahead practically choking himself needs to be addressed. Ah, the joys of puppyhood. There’s a reason they’re so cute, you know…

Meet Cedar

I did plan on doing a longer post this week, but between puppy training, knitting, re-setting up my Etsy shop (might as well try and sell some of the knitted items to make money to buy more yarn...) and revising Fractured Sight I've been pretty busy. So I will leave you with some puppy pixs of the new addition for the time being...

Body Sculpt Boot Camp – Part Two

Since the first workout boot camp I did went so well, I figured I would do another one for July and August to keep me motivated. Also, with J and I spending a week in PEI near the beach (is there anywhere in PEI not near a beach?) with his son, I thought I might like to be in bathing suit shape.

I have to admit, after the first boot camp ended I grew a little slack with the workouts. I didn’t stop, but 6 days a week looked more like 4 and the strength training took the biggest hit. So when my trainer told me she was doing another Body Sculpt Boot Camp, I signed up. It was either that or get Tommy Europe from The Last 10 lbs Boot Camp to whip my butt into shape and I'm guessing I can't afford him.

My workout calendar for the next 5 weeks looks a bit brutal. I have something going on each day, although the Saturday Yoga is optional. To me, yoga is like ‘rest’ day. I don’t feel depleted after doing yoga. Usually I feel like I’m ready to do more.

So here’s a basic overview of what it’s going to take to whip my butt (and thighs and arms and abs) into shape between now and the end of July:

Sun – two softball games
Mon – Cardio / Lower Body strength training / Abs
Tues – Yoga
Wed – Body Sculpt Boot Camp Class
Thurs – Yoga
Fri – Cardio / Upper Body strength training / Abs
Sat – Yoga (optional)

I think that should do the trick. Now I just have to revamp the diet to work in tandem. That’s always the biggest challenge for me. I do like my food…

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: The writing is going great. I worked out a plan for the rest of the year and my revisions to Salvation Falls are bopping right along – I’m already halfway through. This month I’ve also been busy, rearranging furniture and coordinating what goes, what stays, etc. to make room for J’s stuff when he moves in this weekend. That’s pretty much all done.

Now I’m just counting the days until vacation. I have a little mini vacation the first few days in July to make for a 5 day weekend, but it isn’t until the first of August I get any real time off. I’m REALLY looking forward to it. I’m taking a stack of books to continue my plan of working through as much of my TBR pile as humanly possible this year.

And that is what’s been going on. What’s new with you?

Not Much of a Juggler

Things have been super busy here of late hence my lack of blog posts. It seems the more I try to keep up the more behind I get. I realized I was juggling a few too many balls and needed to set a few down and concentrate on the important stuff.

So I’ve decided to opt out of soccer, at least on a regular weekly basis. I may sub if they need me really bad, but that’s it. The time of the games made it hard to do anything else on Sunday and I realized I needed my days off to do whatever I wanted more than I needed to play soccer. The two day break is all I get and scheduling Sunday with a bunch of games that pretty much eradicated my chance of doing anything else that day just wasn’t working for me. So I kept the softball games since they were in the morning and left me the rest of the day open, and decided to let soccer go.

I also cancelled cable. Granted, this was more of a money saving item than a time issue, but I realized I hadn’t actually watched much tv since the writers strike and since it was costing me nearly $40 a month, it seemed a bit silly to pay all that money for something I wasn’t using. And while I was at it, I cancelled my land line as well and switched to using my cell phone as my main number, saving me another $20/month.

As for the revisions – I’m finally feeling better about them. After breaking them down by POV and going through all of Devlin’s scenes at once and all of Isabel’s at once has made it much easier to see any inconsistencies. I’ve finished Devlin and now I’m nearly halfway through Isabel. I took one morning off work this week to do nothing but write and made a good dent in it, and I’m taking another one next Monday. Hopefully that will get me to the end. I have added some new scenes which need writing and taken out others that no longer were needed or served no purpose. Once that’s done, I’ll type in the changes, do up the synopsis and send it out the door. Hopefully I’ll manage that by end of the month.

Also, its been almost a year since Coop died and I'm starting to get the itch to get a new dog. I've considered quite a few and I'm thinking of a Westie, but to be honest, I just keep coming back to the Golden Retreiver. There's just something about them that I can't shake. Either way, it won't be until next year that I get one. Too much traveling this year. Once things are settled down early next year I'll make a final decision.

And that’s what I’ve been up to. Now, to zip around to all my blog buddies and see what you’ve all been up to!

PS - Saw Kung Fu Panda last night and it was hilarious!!

Putting on the Big Girl Undies

Okay, so I’ve whined and cried about my revisions enough. It’s time to put on the big girl undies and grow up. Because this is the epiphany I had the other day after realizing yet more revisions were required (insert eye roll here): Here is where real writers are made. This is the defining moment where I can pack it in and call it a day, or pull up my boot straps and keep at it until its done regardless of the time it takes, regardless of how many more times I have to run through this manuscript. Regardless. Period. Because that’s what real writers do. They stick with it. They don’t cave when it gets hard. They don’t turn tail and run when things don’t go their way. They buckle down, nose to the grindstone and keep at it.

So that’s what I’m doing. Nose to grindstone. Buckling down. Pull up bootstraps. Putting on big girl undies. Getting it done.

Watch me go.

Falling In and Out of Love

This year my writing has taken a big hit. Or maybe I should say my lack of writing, since what I’ve mostly been doing is revisions (which anyone who has been reading this blog with any regularity is well aware of given my constant bemoaning of that fact).

But worse than the seemingly never-ending revisions, the thing that has bothered me the most was my lack of desire to do it. I came back from the Christmas holidays and hit a brick wall. I had to force myself to get out of bed in the morning to tackle the work. And it felt like work. The joy was gone.

What was wrong? Writing was my escape, it was the thing that got me out of bed in the morning, it was my passion! Was it possible…could I have…(insert gasp of horror here)…fallen out of love with writing??

Oh dear God, say it isn’t so.

But that’s what it felt like. And nothing I did brought that surge of desire back. I considered couple’s counselling to see if we could work out our differences, but surprisingly enough most therapists gave me a rather odd look when I suggested it and once I saw them reaching for the white coat with the extra long sleeves and ties and buckles in the back I reconsidered this option.

I contemplated separating, but that seemed such a drastic option. I mean, we’ve been together so long I simply couldn’t imagine my life without writing. Every time I did this dark, bottomless abyss replaced the spot where my future should have been. Who was I without writing? I couldn’t answer. It would be like saying ‘who am I without my arms, or my heart, or my imagination’.

No. Separation was not the answer. I would have to stay in our unhappy relationship, hang in there in the hopes something changed. But weeks passed, and then months, and still the distance between us grew. We became angry bedmates, wallowing in our inability to make things right. We spoke seldom and always with an underlying tension that could ignite an argument at any given moment.

I finished the major revisions and breathed a sigh of relief. We had at least weathered the storm intact albeit with a few scars. I took a couple of days off then started the final read through and clean up, when a strange thing happened. I began to enjoy the process again. The words whispered in my mind and the characters danced to life, reminding me why I do this, why I put myself through this process time and again.

And page by page I found myself falling in love with writing all over again. The infatuation of new love brewed in my veins. I stopped looking for reasons to put off getting up in the morning. It began to feel less like a chore, more like an adventure. I stopped asking myself what I would do if I never sold and started thinking in terms of when I did. I began looking ahead to the next set of revisions for Outlaw Bride with renewed enthusiasm, and became positively giddy at the prospect of starting the outline for Saving Grace.

And this morning as I stared at the marked up pages of revisions before me, I congratulated us on sticking it out when things got tough, knowing that in the end, going through this rough patch has only made us stronger. After all, no one said writing would be easy, did they? As often quoted, if writing was easy everyone would do it.

Oh Sweet Victory, You Are Mine

I have finished my revisions. Ahhh...sweeter words were never said. Well, actually, sweeter words will be said in a couple weeks. They'll sound something like, "I have finished my read through and final clean up, written my synopsis and sent this baby off to Berkley." But for now, just finishing the revisions is so sweet I am going to revel in it for a full 48 hours before I start tackling the next part.

Yippee!!

And in other good news, while I didn't final in the GH, I did manage to make it into the top quarter again with a score a bit higher than the last time I entered. So I'm pleased with that. Agent and editor appointments are to be booked Monday morning, so I'll be logged onto the computer to do that. Not sure how I'm going to manage that when it happens during work hours. I may have to just ask my boss if I can do it from work, or maybe take the morning off to do it from home. I'm more interested in agent appointments right now so I'll likely concentrate on getting one of those first.

As for tomorrow morning, I am taking it off. I am going to hang out at the BF's, with a big hot mug of coffee clenched in my hands and watch HGTV's House Hunters until it is time to go to work. There may even be some waffle eating involved somewhere in there. Because that's how I celebrate my victories. With waffles. And maple syrup. Not that fake table syrup either. We're talking the real stuff. Straight from the tree. Mmmm mmmm...victory never tasted so good.

Still Slogging Away

I am so sick of revisions. Let it be done already!! Have I complained about this enough? I seriously need to find a way to cut down on the amount of revisions I do. I need a new system. Because I swear if I have to do the extensive rewrites in Saving Grace that I did in Brimstone, I may never write another book again. This has just been freakin' painful. It's a good thing I love this story or I would have taken a flame-thrower to it a long time ago. Geez...

Anyway, in happier news - I found out yesterday that my tax return will actually be enough to fund my trip to San Francisco. I celebrated by going out and buying a pair of shoes. I'm quite relieved at that. I was beginning to stress a bit on the cash flow.

In less than happy news, the whole weight loss thing has hit a brick wall. A few pounds have crept back on much to my ever lasting cursing. In fact, I've cursed so much while stamping my feet you'd think I could have burned the pounds back off, but no. I know what the problem is. It isn't the workouts. Now that it's light out in the evenings I've been running or walking nearly every day, even the rainy ones. It's the eating. The stuffing of waaaaaaaaay too much bread and cookies and chocolate and all the crap I shouldn't be eating in my mouth. Noshing away like there's no tomorrow. Eating out, drinking wine, etc. So for the rest of this week I am becoming the Fruit & Veggie Queen. I've allotted myself one bread product a day (I'm going hardcore but I'm not completely insane) and the rest must be filled with fruits and vegetables. And of course the occasional milk product and protein. I'm going back to the Weight Watchers point system which I fell off of because...well, because gluttony is my friend and apparently in my genetic composition (thanks Dad).

I bought a couple of sexy summer dresses and I've left the tags on. I am not allowed to wear them until I get back to where I was weight wise before all hell broke loose, I lost my mind and began eating everything that wasn't nailed down.

And that's where things are today. Sorry I've been out of touch lately. Things are still pretty busy at this end and I've been concentrating more on trying to finish revisions and haven't had as much time to visit my blog buddies. But I'll get there, I promise.

Books, Movies and Endless Snow

First up, out on book shelves today and garnering great reviews is Heart of My Heart, a SuperRomance written by my chapter-mate, Stella MacLean. This is Stella's first book to hit the shelves (though not her last!) and definitely worth checking out. Pick up your copy soon, I have a feeling they'll sell fast!

Now, back to the weather: This has been the longest winter in memory. Usually, we don't get too much snow here on the coast until after the Christmas holidays, but this year it started in November and I swear it has been nothing else since. Right up to and including the weekend when we got a little mini snow storm on Friday night. Granted the snow was gone by the next day, but still! It's April for crying out loud!! Sigh...what I wouldn't give for a tropical climate right now.

But thankfully, the sun has been out for two days in a row, the snow is off the ground (I actually whispered that part because I don't want to tempt fate), and I'm sure any day now, Spring will actually start. Any day...

As for revisions: I have finally managed to get Brimstone to under 400 pages. I am closing in, hacking away at the last 100 pages and making steady progress. Although this next chapter needs a complete overhaul where I pull things from chapters up ahead and drag them back. Which will likely mean a nice little bit of reconstruction of later chapters. Oiy. Like the snow, it seems the revisions never end. I am sooooo looking forward to working on something new.

Granted, my something new will actually be something old while I whittle Outlaw Bride down and tighten it up so I can start sending it out again as well. That will give me two completed manuscripts going out into the big bad world this year. Once that's done, it's onto Saving Grace where we get to see what madness Quinn has involved himself in and whether or not he's sobered up since his appearance in Brimstone.

Meanwhile, on other artistic fronts - I went to see the movie Run, Fat Boy, Run starring Sean Pegg. It was by far one of the funniest movies I have seen in a long time. And not stupid funny, either. It was the characters. All of them, from the smallest secondary character to the lead roles were fantastic. I had a special fondness for the hero's best friend, Gordon, played by Dylan Moran. Hilarious. So if you're looking for a good, funny movie, check it out.

Has Anyone Seen My Deadline?

Ah yes. That lofty promise of getting this manuscript done by March 31st or die trying. Yes. Well. Hm.

Okay, obviously the die trying part didn't pan out. Just as well. Seems a little silly to get this far into the manuscript revisions and expire before I finish. On the plus side, the manuscript is shaping up nicely. I feel it is much stronger than when I started, and will be a much better book before I'm done.

Which will be April 30th.

Seriously.

I'm devising a plan of action. And, in truth, I actually only have 100 pages left to edit, most of which require only minor changes (I hope...). Surely I can get that done in two weeks, do a read through and clean up and then get this baby out the door to Berkley before they forget they asked for it.

I can do this. It's nose to the grindstone time. Everything else will have to take a backseat for the time being. No new courses, no hobbies that must be attended to, no missing writing days. Perhaps a bit of evening or weekend time for edits if required.

Mark my words - April 30th or earlier and this thing is done. I swear.

An End In Sight

I'm getting there. Little by little, I am getting to the end of the manuscript. I have hit the midway point now. The major revisions were in the first half of the manuscript and they are now out of the way. Finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it is not an oncoming train. Whew. I might make this deadline after all.

Guitar lessons ended this week. I am not ready to leave the day job and run off and be a rockstar, but I know enough know that I can make some progress on my own. I'd like to take a more advance session of lessons, but I'll see what I can learn on my own first and then look at doing that later in the year. I have enough on my plate at the moment.

I have signed up for an intuitive development course which I think I mentioned. I have two classes down and two to go. It's an incredibly interesting course and last night's class was centred around auras and how to see them. I discovered the difference between the ground aura you're born with and the mood auras that surround you. Turns out my grounding aura is indigo, which is one of my favorite colors, and is represented by the number 6. Indigo represents healing, intuition and spirituality. The number 6 represents creative and artistic energy. Not bad. Next week we are doing a past life regression. I've done one of these before and they're quite amazing. I'm looking forward to it.

The clocks go back this weekend...or ahead...crap I can never figure it out. Either way, it means more daylight in the evening which means - yay! - I can start my walks in the evenings again. I can't wait. I've squeezed in a few on days where the weather cooperated and I managed to get home from work on time and didn't have something else going on. It feels so good to just get out and walk my 5K loop, to just let my brain go and enjoy the fresh air. I hate those 4 months where I'm cooped up inside with my workouts. Walking outside is one of the best workouts I do and yet it doesn't feel like work. I find myself craving it by the end of the work day.

And so that's where things are standing so far this week. Hope everyone else is doing great!

Paging My Motivation...

Has anyone seen my motivation?

Right now, determination is the only thing keeping my butt in the chair in the morning. Determination not to let these damn revisions get the best of me. Determination to slog through each page and get to the end by March 31st. Determination to win, conquer and defeat.

But I can't say I'm feeling motivated. I am not waking up in the morning, jumping out of bed and rushing downstairs to greet the manuscript with my usual vim and vigor. It seems lately I'm wearing more of a scowl and glare and muttering under my breath, 'Bah-ring it you @#$% piece of crap. You won't take me alive!'

Well okay, maybe that's just on the really bad mornings. But it's there. That steely-eyed 'you're not taking me down, I will defeat you' sense of purpose that is more combative than conducive to good writing.

I know a lot of it has to do with the timeline. I want this done. I need to get it out to Berkley. I can't procrastinate or walk away from it for a bit and come back when I'm feeling better. Well, I could, I suppose. No one will arrest me if I do. But the simple fact of the matter is, if I were published and I had a deadline, the option would not be there. I would have to produce and do it within the allotted timeframe the publisher set out. And so when I imposed my own deadline for this manuscript, I decided to treat it the same way.

I need to know I can do it. When the time comes, and it is a publisher's deadline staring me in the face the knowledge that I can do it will set my frame of mind. My outside commitments will not change, at least at first. I will still have a day job, I will still have constraints on my time that limit the amount of hours in a day I have to write. So I will need to know I can use my time wisely and get the work done as needed.

Does that motivate me? No. Does it make me determined? You bet.

One More Thing

Because I didn't feel I had enough on my plate, I decided to add a little more. The psychic I visit once a year, a woman I have a great amount of respect for given the freakish accuracy of her predictions and knowledge, called me yesterday. She is giving a four week course on intuitive development she thought I would be interested in. Naturally she was right - hey, she's psychic after all. I had known of this course and been very interested in it, but kept forgetting to ask her about it. So when she called out of the blue and said she thought of me with respect to this and the first class started this week I decided to jump in and give it a go.

So now we have: the book edits, the day job, the new relationship, the guitar lessons and the intuitive development courses. This of course does not even begin to touch upon the piles of books to be read, the research I want to do, visiting my blog buddies and seeing what's new with all of you, the housework that likes to pile up, family and friends...sigh...

If I could figure out the cloning process and could sit the Kelly Clone at my desk for eight hours a day, I think I might be able to put a dent in all the other stuff. At least my edits are on track this week and I'm keeping up with the page count I wanted to accomplish.

In other news - I registered for the RWA conference yesterday. I am cleared for take off. Well, at least after I figure out where the money for the airfare from Nova Scotia to San Fran is coming from.

And, to top things off, my brother and his wife popped out Baby #3 last night at 11:23 pm. Baby Boy (name was still being decided upon between contractions - word is they have a short list) weighing in at 7 lbs and 18 oz, all fingers, toes and other necessary appendages intact and functional.

It's been a busy week.

Revived!

I feel revived after a fantastic weekend filled with great food, even better company, a movie, coffee with a friend and waffles. Big honking waffles smothered in whipped cream and strawberries. Mmm mmm. Although, after stepping on the scales this morning, I think I should lay off the waffles for a while and concentrate more on the fruits and veggies, lest I want to start waddling about and busting out of my clothes. Not good.

Also, yesterday I sat down and figured out what I needed to do in order to finish Brimstone's edits by the end of March. I broke it down into page count for Monday through Friday. If I can edit 10 pages per day and use the weekend to do read through and clean up, I can complete this thing by the end of the month.

So far today I managed to stay on track. Ten pages completed...forty left to go. Right now the manuscript is running at 410 pages, so I still need to cut it down by about 10-20 pages, but I think that's doable with the changes planned in the second half. Taking out the scene that involved two secondary characters for the set up of Book 2 will likely save me somewhere in the vicinity of 10-15 pages alone.

Now that I have it down on paper and figured out, the edits don't seem quite so daunting. Or endless. I'm itching to get this done and move onto something new. Well, not actually new, since I plan on re-tackling Outlaw Bride to clean that up, cut down the page count and send it out as well.

Which, by the way, noticed Harlequin have a book on the shelf right now called Outlaw Bride. Lovely. Oh well, since the publishers have a tendency to change titles anyway, I won't stress too much about it.