Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Vagaries of Fate

I'm not sure where to begin this post. I'm not even sure if I want to, but I've posted every other up and down on this blog so here I go.

The puppy thing did not happen.

Or rather it did happen, but outside things converged within a few days of her arrival that made it impossible to keep her. I kept thinking I could figure out a way to juggle or balance or make things right, but I knew I was only fooling myself, especially when the final blow came.

I know that all sounds very cryptic and I wish I could be more specific but others are involved and its their business even more so than mine so I'll leave off the details out of respect for them. Suffice to say a family emergency that turned into a more long term situation that will require my full attention became the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

The puppy will likely have a wonderful new home with a friend whose generosity did not surprise me, but was no less appreciated either way. I feel good about where she is and I know it is the right thing. I don't regret the decision, just the timing of it all.

After this week is all said and done, I find myself on a road with a much different landscape than the one I started on just seven days ago. Strange how life can turn on a dime and leave you wondering what the hell happened. It's a little like walking through a door that should have led you into one room and instead dropped you in a foreign world where nothing looks familiar and no one speaks your language. You'd like to back up and return from whence you came but the door you walked through has moved and it's likely going to take a while to find it again.

Meanwhile, while I'm searching, my job is to support the one going through the worst of it and be there for them. It's a job I take on gladly and willingly and without hesitation. The door will be found or a new road will be taken, and by the end of the journey I can only hope to find myself a better person for having been through it and at least look back with the knowledge that I did the best I could.

7 comments:

Rene said...

I'm so sorry, Kelly. Fate does have a way of playing with us most cruelly. I'm sure you made the best decision possible. I admire your attitude with the situation you've been dealt. I have no doubt you will arrive at the end of your destination stronger because of your prespective.

MJFredrick said...

HUGE hugs, Kelly!!!!

Amy Ruttan said...

I'm so sorry you couldn't keep her, but you're handling it so well and what you're doing for your family is awesome.

Hugs to you.

Julia Smith said...

Kelly, this must be crushing. But thank heavens for your friend.

((hugs)) to you with love.

Melissa Marsh said...

Oh, Kelly, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how much you were looking forward to it. But the time will come when you will be able to welcome a new puppy into your home and it will be the right time for everyone involved. Hugs!

Lexi said...

Oh, no! I'm so sorry! And...and...what everybody else said!

michellewillingham said...

Hugs, and here's hoping that the door will open a world of positive changes for all of you.