I hate my stupid contemporary. I hate my stupid characters. Hate them. Okay maybe hate is a strong word. Fine. I just loathe and despise them with the burning intensity of a thousand suns.
My hero doesn't even have a name. Right now I'm calling him Chase-Dillon-Iain-Nick. He's having a serious identity crisis and I can't help him because every time I try he changes who he is. And now, out of nowhere, he has a son. And his motivations are different. And suddenly the whole story is changing and I don't know what anyone's motivations and conflicts are anymore, no idea what is driving this story or how it will end. And don't even get me started on what is supposed to happen in the middle.
I miss Dash. Yeah, sure, it was kind of a stupid name, but the story made sense when he was here. It had purpose. A beginning, a middle, an end. But now suddenly I have to shave off at least 25,000 words and change my hero's name and I seem to have lost the story in the process. Not to mention my ability to see this thing with any kind of clarity.
There is the seed of a story floundering somewhere in my brain but I can't seem to get it to take root. It keeps bouncing around like a Mexican jumping bean.
Makes me want to smash it to bits with a mallet and make hummus out of it.