My original query letter for The Outlaw Bride appears to have been lost in the Great Computer Crash of May 2006. Along with the synopsis. Great. Lovely. Must be Monday.
I found a few old drafts of the query, but they're all crap. I've tried rewriting it this morning but again...more crap. I'm wondering if perhaps I shouldn't write an article on how to write the world's most convoluted query letter. I could win a prize. Seriously.
Perhaps I should try prefacing it with something like this:
Please trust me when I say my query letter writing abilities are in no way reflective of my manuscript. While I realize everything you are about to read will confuse the hell out of you and sound much like the rantings of a mad woman who forgot her meds, please understand that the novel itself is in wonderful shape with scintillating prose and engaging characters. A definite must have for any agent or editor willing to overlook my crappy query/synopsis. Honest.
What do you think? Should work huh?