Friday, November 25, 2005

The Fiasco

Pull up a chair, grab some java. Let me tell you about my last 30 hours.

Wednesday night I finished writing my synopsis. All proud I had finished a day ahead of schedule, I started printing off the six copies of my partial for the Golden Heart. After the first 55 pages, I realized I had inadvertently left my name in the header. Grrr...scrap those 55 pages. Start again. Two hundred pages later I realize the page number formatted wrong and was at the bottom of the page, not the top as requested. How had I not noticed that?? Argh. Start again.

Finally, I get everything the way it should be and I'm twelve pages to the end. When I run out of paper. No problem, I think, I have another pack. I open it up. It's three hole punch paper. Twelve pages to go and I have no freakin' paper left! After several deep, calming breaths I remind myself, no problem, I can print them off at work. It's only 12 pages. Then I can hop over to Staples and send the package Xpress Post. With six business days, that gets it there by Friday at the latest and I'll meet the deadline.

So I get to Staples and they are all out of the type of envelopes I need in single purchase format. I call over to the guy at the copy centre. Hey buddy, you got any single bubble wrap envelopes? He looks at me, "We're waiting on them." Uh huh...are you waiting on them because they're about to arrive in the next five minutes? He screws up his face. Not a good look for him, he should really rethink that. I assume the look to mean no, the single envelopes will not arrive in the next five minutes. So I have to buy a pack of 5. Lovely. Wonderful. Nice to see my bad luck is continuing. Then I get it all packaged and tell the guy where it's going and when it has to be there and he tells me - well it won't get there until December 5th, because it won't get in the system until Monday.

Monday? But it's Thursday?

Yes, he says, but you don't count today.

Uh huh, yup, know that, but that still leaves us Friday and all of next week. Which would be six days.

Nope. Won't get in the system until Monday.

So...what? Did Friday just disappear into the ether and that's why you're not counting it? Because right up there on the wall it says Xpress Post to the US 3 - 6 days. There's nothing there that states the countdown starts oh, whenever you feel like it!

He points at his computer. Well, my computer tells me it won't get in the system til Monday, so you can try if you like but I can't guarantee it'll get there by Dec 2nd. You can send it international courier. It'll get there next day at a cost of $80 give or take.

Oh sure, no problem. Will that be cash or my kidney! Grrr...Argh....

So I go back to the office and call Canada Post who tell me buddy is full of crap and it would get into the system on Friday and get there by next Friday, making my deadline. But at this point, I'm starting to get worried that what if it's even a day late, then I'm disqualified and all this pain and agony was for naught. At this point, it's 9:30 am, my head feels like it's going to explode, and my breakfast of coffee and extra strength tylenol is bleeding a hole through my stomach.

Then one of my goals loop buddies suggest I call UPS because she sent hers UPS a couple years ago and it cost under $30 (thanks Heidi!). I figure it's worth a shot, and sure 'nuff, UPS, will send my package overnight and it'll only cost me about $32. I checked with RWA and they'll accept it if it comes by courier so long as there is no charge at their end.

Big, huge, honking sigh of relief. So today at lunch I'm zipping over to the UPS office and sending that baby on it's way. Then I'm taking a few days off before I start in on my query letter, which I believe I already drafted so shouldn't be too much work. Then I will send it to HQN next week.


Tess said...

Oh, Kelly - big hugs on your last 30 hours. And loads of cyber chocolate! But it's almost gone (no thanks to Staples), THEN you can CELEBRATE (or collapse).

Enjoy P&P!!!!

Peggy said...

Oh Good God! You poor girl, you! With all that back luck, it can only bring good luck for your submission! Crossing my fingers for you (and that it arrives in time).

Kelly, you have a very humourous voice. Even something so stressful, you make it sound funny! I hope that's the kind of writing you do. I'll be buying your books for sure!

Maxx said...

" If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."

But ya know, I had the same envelope trouble at Staples about a month ago. I just wanted one 8X10 envelope but they only had packs of them. I sense a conspiracy. Greedy corporate bastards! Trying to hold the little man down by making him spend MORE money on multiple envelopes he doesn't need! It's like the whole hot dog/bun thing... *straightens tinfoil hat*... Those two industries are in cahoots. You can never buy an equal number of hot dogs and buns so you continually have to buy to use up whatever's left of the other. It's a conspiracy I tell ya.

Melissa Marsh said...

Good grief, Kelly! I can't believe what you went through! But that means all that angst is going to guarantee that you WIN, right? Let's hope so!!!

Michelle said...

OMG, what a mess! Here's hoping that you get a win off it, after all that hassle. :) Good luck!

MaryF said...

Oh, urgh! But they say, the more trouble you have with a submission, the happier the outcome! Hope it's all worth it!