Monday, September 12, 2005

Little Miss Cranky-Ass

I’m in a bad mood. Actually, not so much bad as a foul mood. Downright-I’d-kick-you-when-you’re-down-just-because kind of foul. I rarely get in bad moods. I get ticked now and again, irritated, but it’s a passing emotion. This, however? This is just one of those days when I am not fit to be sharing the same space as the general public. Every time my pod partner opens his mouth I want to throw something large and heavy over the wall to shut him up. Like my computer for instance. When the phone rings I hit my Do Not Disturb button, or as I’m calling it today - my Screw Off and Die button.

The day didn’t necessarily start off bad. I sat on my couch, java in hand, and was going through my day sheet making the necessary adjustments to fix the plot and cut back pages for The Outlaw Bride. Then I hit a snag. No problem, I can figure this out. And I’m sure I could have if I hadn’t of run out of time. I think that’s when the snarling started. I didn’t want to go to work, I wanted to stay right there on the couch and work the problem out. But I couldn’t, which brought on the dark, snarling mood of the deranged. I packed up my day sheet and notebook and brought it with me to work so I could at least spend my lunch hour doing something productive instead of staring at the hideously beige walls of the office kitchen. By the way – beige? Hate it. It’s right up there with puce and fuchsia as colors that should be abolished and never seen again. To be honest, I don’t even know what color puce is, but I don’t care. It sounds ugly and that’s all I need to set me off today.

Where was I? Oh yes, dark and snarling. Anyway, I lost my momentum of fixing the plot problem, and now I’m realizing that some major editing of the final third of my book – you know, the part where everything comes together and makes sense – is going to require a major overhaul. Which puts me behind schedule of getting the book out to HQN when I wanted to. And there are few things we Caps hate more than having our schedule thwarted. Then I remembered the Golden Heart deadline was also looming in my near future.

And then, to top it all off, I realized that my finances are in a miserable state of disrepair and that I’m teetering on the brink of complete and total disaster if I don’t do something drastic. Sadly, the long, slow crawl out of the hole I seem to have dug for myself is going to take much longer than I had anticipated, unless the karma gods take pity on me and I actually sell some of my writing this year. At this rate however, if I don’t do something, Atlanta will be nothing more than a pipe dream come next July.

So all of my extra curricular activities are being cut off at the end of this month. I say the end of this month because Jo Beverley is coming down to visit our chapter weekend after next and no way am I missing that. And of course the Pearl Jam ticket for the 22nd is already purchased. It’s going to be a long, cold winter I think. Guess it’s a good thing I have a huge stash of books because from the looks of it, that’ll be my sole source of entertainment for the foreseeable future.


Peggy said...

You even make cranky sound funny! God, had a good laugh reading your post. Which seems cruel because you've had a lousy day. Hope it improves!

Kelly said...

Well I suppose if I made someone laugh all is not lost!

Erin said...

You want me to send anyone your way for you to sacrifice? Would that help the mood any?

Or am I too late? Did you already sacrifice someone at work?

Hope your mood improves soon, Kelly! (I'd offer a cyber hug...but I wasn't planning on volunteering to be your sacrifice)

Nikki said...

Ugh - sounds like a very bad time. But when you're up, up, up like you always are, the downtimes are even harder.

Please do not kill anyone. although it may seem like a solution today, it will only result in harder days. And apparently you end up liking ponchos at the end of your stint in jail.. and you don't want to start liking ponchos, do you????

Kelly said...

Nikki...are you accusing me of being a poncho wearing bi-polar?

ces said...

poncho wearing bi-polar is the funniest thing i have ever heard.