Okay, for starters, the fact that I am even mentioning Nick Carter in a blog, or anywhere else for that fact, simply has to be the first sign of the apocalypse, so you may all want to batten down the hatches now and prepare for the end of the world. Here’s where it gets weirder. I had a dream last night that I was walking into what I think was like a small grocery or magazine store. Two guys I knew from my high school daze were sitting near the register. I said hi as I passed by and kept on walking. They called after me saying ‘Oh yeah, you walk right by the tabloids’. Well yeah, I don’t read the tabloids, moron. Get a clue. Shah. (Okay well I sometimes read US magazine but only at my hairdresser's!) Anyho, back to the dream.
I grab what I came in to get and walk by the register again and see Frank magazine (for those of you not from NS, it’s a local rag for gossip of well known figures in the area). I’m on the cover, sitting near the waterfront on a stone wall wearing shades, my head thrown back as I laugh riotously at something my cohort said. That cohort, whose arm is slung around behind me, is Nick Carter. I groan. It’s not what you think, I tell them. I was just in town getting my license renewed and we ran into each other. He’s just a friend, I swear! No one believed me.
I don’t even like Nick Carter. What the hell is up with that dream?? Although the fact that I made the cover of Frank as a well known person bodes well, don’t you think? Still…why couldn’t I have been sitting next to Johnny Depp, or Gerard Butler, or Jim Caviziel? But oh nooo…my subconscious had to cack up Nick Carter. That’s just so wrong.
Moving on. In brighter, less disturbing news – my website is almost ready! Woo hoo!! Probably within a week www.kellyboyce.com will be up and running. I can’t wait. We’re still tweaking it a bit but I love the look of it. Gary the Computer Guru (http://www.grdbconsulting.com) did a fabulous job taking what I had in my head and putting it into a webpage. Very exciting. I can’t believe I’m going to have my own website. I did the little happy dahnce of joy. Okay, it was more like a big dahnce of joy, at least up until the point where I tripped over the treadmill and did a face plant into the bookshelf. I am perhaps not nearly as graceful as I would like to think I am.
And finally, I was speaking to my mother this morning. We avoided the topic of the porn—I mean love scene—I had last given her. Okay it wasn’t porn. It was a well crafted, sensual love scene. But I know my mother is going to think it’s porn! Oh my god, I made my mother read porn!!! Groan…banging of head on desk ensues…I do this a lot. I’m probably brain damaged.
Anyway – the non-pornographic well crafted love scene isn’t the point. My mother called to say my sister-in-law is probably days away from dropping the latest addition to the family. Which is great. Except for one thing. I don’t have a gift ready yet!! I was banking on the due date. Why can’t she just squeeze her legs together and hold it in until June 21st??? Why?? I am not ready! I have no money to buy something! I have to make it! I don't have time!! AHHHH!!!
More groaning…more banging of head…more swelling of the brain…