Dear Connor & Kate,
It is with deep regret I must inform you that the two of you will never be having sex again. I realize this comes as a huge shock to you both, as it would reason with the way your relationship has progressed more sex would be expected, even warranted. However, it has become apparent that after your last love scene I am simply too taxed to attempt such a feat again.
Therefore, it behooves me to announce that you, Kate, shall be entering the Convent of the Never-gonna-get-any; and you, Connor, will be leaving for Tibet to train with Sensei Abstinence at the local monastery for the frustrated. I hope you both understand this has been a very difficult decision to make, but in review I believe it is the best for all concerned. And by all, I mostly mean me.
And speaking of me, I will be leaving the world of historical romance for a career in basket weaving. I thank you for your time and wish you all the best.
Your creator, Kelly